Icome from a generation of women who fell asleep at night dreaming of white knights and rescues from castles by handsome princes.

After falling in love, we'd find a wildflower, pull off the petals, and begin chanting, "He loves me. He loves me not."

It was the thing to do.

When today's woman finds herself in love, she's likely to be chanting a new mantra, "Friend? Boyfriend?"

Think Jerry Maguire, the self-confessed "great friend, lousy at intimacy" guy. Think Harry and Sally, when Meg Ryan confronts Billy Crystal for his inability to have one relationship, rather sleeping with any woman in sight.

Welcome to relationship limbo, girls, where one day your connection with your guy is a little slice of heaven and the next it's akin to Dorothy in Oz, trapped in the funnel twister with no ruby red shoes — and no Toto.

This type of relationship was bound to happen. Think about it. We create what we need. We're always on the go, so we created car phones, which have now evolved into thin pieces of sleek metal that connect us with the world outside our inner chaos.

Rather than sit and have a conversation with someone, you press a button on your computer and send an email. No time to sit at a computer? You can email from your new Star-Trek phone.

This generation of lovers and those that follow may never know the thrill of connecting with someone through the written word: the age-old love letter. We've traded in the lyrical flow of handwritten words on a blank page for black-and-white, 12-point letters on a computer screen, because there seems to be not enough time to actually form the letters by hand.

Rather than sit, relax and watch a movie with someone, many seem to be viewing movies on the computer — alone.

Are our relationships following suit? Have we moved toward the quick and easy, "I really like you, maybe even love you, but I simply don't have the time to invest in this? Let's just be really close friends and …"

Every single woman alive knows the end of that sentence.

Have women stopped looking for that ever-illusive prince to slay our dragons because we think we're supposed to do it ourselves?

Have men given up the search for the women who might add immeasurable buoyancy to their lives and allow them to provide strength, support and comfort?

Have we stopped believing that the love between a man and a woman can transform our lives in favor of an ersatz version of a relationship that provides us with a temporary fix?

And if so, why?

Is it because we don't have the time? We won't make the time? Maybe there are just too many choices out there and we have to make sure we're not missing out on a better deal.

Think about the choices that assault us, every day. Observe supermarket shelves, car dealers, phones centers and electronics stores. Think of any product advertised, and most likely, once upon a time, one of it was enough. One phone, one TV, one car, one significant other. Wasn't there a time when we were just happy with one each of these?

Is too much choice making us crazy?

Take breakfast cereal. When I was a kid, my cereal choices were Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies and oatmeal. For a real treat we had Frosted Flakes. When my kids were growing up, the shelf selection certainly had expanded, but today?

My grandson can take up to 15 minutes deciding what kind of cereal he wants. And where does he begin? Even after he chooses one, I may hear later on that, maybe, he should have chosen a different one.

Are relationships like cereal?

Is it the drive to experience new things that keeps us running from relationship to relationship? Or is it the fear of making the wrong choice that sends us on the wild goose chase, always thinking there will be something better on the shelf tomorrow, next week, next year.

I'm all for trying new things, experiencing new tastes and textures to keep my taste buds from becoming bored, but when push comes to shove, I like the comfort of Cheerios, the rib-sticking ability of oatmeal, and the treat of a bowl of Frosted Flakes, now and then.

If we'd all stand still long enough, we might remember that Cheerios tastes pretty good. If you have a hankerin' for something more exotic, drizzle some melted butter on them and turn them into a delicacy. Dress up oatmeal a bit and make apple crisp. And Frosted Flakes? They speak for themselves.

So maybe it's not so much the variety in partners that's the spice of life as much as it is the opening up to all the possibilities that are right in front of us.

Contact Clare Marie Celano at

ccelano@gmnews.com.